[&whatisitworth]

Visiting with two very good friends this weekend

Over a few glasses of wine we caught up on each others lives - time flies by as we get older and there never seems to be enough hours in the day-

Or, simply enough hours to see the people you love.

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Talks of past and present love, lovers and flings,

Sunday afternoon, our conversation long over, but my mind continues to reel.

-Lonely-

A term I would have never equated with my dear friend, or even thought would be present in his own life or vocabulary. This got me thinking about my own current lack of love interest and why this is so.

Are we taught to hold ourselves in such high standings that we choose to be alone as opposed to settling? My first instinct, "Positively, absolutely yes! And never change."

We touched on the fact that any relationship is an extreme devotion of ones self, physically, mentally and emotionally, and therefore, any form of serious relationship is to be treded on lightly as to make sure you are not putting in all your effort for nothing.

Calculated risk I suppose you could call it.

I find myself questioning if there will ever be a breaking point. Or, if we will be holding out for a very long time, if not ever, to find someone as wonderful as our dreams - and breeding- have taught us we deserve.

To the question of "is it better to be alone then in bad company" I have always said a firm yes.

I believe you are the company you keep, but not all company is bad company, it may just not be "perfect" company.

So then, do we write the people off who don't "appear" to measure up to our "potential mate" lists? First dates are more and more seeming like interviews, and bbm conversations are more like the 20 questions game.

I find myself longing for the perfect company, but wondering if I really ever will find it. To anyone other then myself, I would be the most reassuring friend and say "Oh hunny, you're wonderful, you know in time they will come around." (and truly believing it for them mind you) But applying that notion to myself, proves much more difficult.

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Much more difficult