Cleaning out my wallet this morning, one of those nagging(and very daunting) tasks that sometimes one must force ones self to do, I found a little note I had written one day with a very broken heart.
Caught between the wonder of having everything on the outside and very little on the in, I wrote about the confusion and the moments of being scared to walk away with a possibility of losing so much, but in hind sight, so much of what I didn't need.
I wrote a while back about a movie I saw where the main character had a moment of clarity amongst the chaos that was her life. She stood overlooking the champagne, the friends, the beautiful apartment, the strong and good looking fiance, and in the midst of it all realized that she had everything she had ever wanted, but nothing she really needed.
It's a scary thing to walk away from a life you always dreamed of because you know it just isn't the right fit for you. It's something so deep down, it's almost too quiet to call a whisper. But it's always there. Something you just can never seem to shake, even during your most joyous moments.
In the note, I was left wondering if I would ever stumble upon someone who fit so well into the picture I had drawn up in my dreams, but also into the soul I knew I kept guarded so well. The place that whispered so softly to me before when I wasn't being true to myself.
As life comes and goes and we become clearer in who we are, the more I begin to have faith that maybe one day that person will be out there. Perfect, no. But who is? The best things about people we find in their flaws. That's what connects us, and makes us human.
And dare I say, but only time will tell. I think I might have that falling feeling...
No comments:
Post a Comment